Single #1: Bono's No Woman To Me

by Scott Doonican

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For some strange reason, Glamour decided that Bono from U2 should be 'Woman Of The Year'. Not only was this my instant reaction, but I felt strongly that they overlooked the fact that there was a person who ticked all of the relevant boxes for not only 'Woman Of The Year' but also being one of the strongest women I know... Gail Something-Else.
Gail is the Queen of the Festival field. Her grassroots approach has given opportunities to so many on the alternative festival scene in the UK and now she needs some help, it only seems right to pay a bit of kindness back.
I'm releasing this track from her and to help her out and encourage all of my festival musician friends to record a track that we can put out for her cause too.


He can win an award
Without being a girl
And he’ll ruin your faith in what’s good in this world
He’s got twenty-two Grammys, honorary degrees
And he can act like a tit
But Bono’s no woman to me

He can fight for world peace
He can meet with Obama
And he could free Tibet
From the back of a llama
And he could save the planet for you and for me
But forget all that Glamour
Cos Bono’s no woman to me

So, he puts it on his shelf
Next to his Brit Awards
Cos he thinks that it’s fine
Oh, and he never gives up
And he never gives in
And he never declines

He’s had number one albums
And mansion-sized homes
But I’m still pretty sure
He’s got both chromosomes
So how was he chosen as a nominee
Unless science has failed us
Then Bono’s no woman to me

So, he puts it on his shelf
By his platinum discs
For The Unforgettable Fire
Oh, and he never gives up
And he never gives in
But his music's still dire

Were the judges all blind
Had they been overruled
Could they not spot his tackle
Was it too miniscule?
So rip up the rule book
Because I guarantee
If his next souvenir
Is ‘Playmate of the Year’
Then Bono’s no woman to me


released November 4, 2016
Written and performed by Scott Doonican from The Bar-Steward Sons of Val Doonican



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